Once upon a time, Mr. Stampor had a dream. In that dream, he was feeding Roger Ebert giant donuts. He woke up and was puzzled by the meaning of this dream. So he went to the oracle (Lakeside Mall Food Court) and called upon the spirit of Gene Siskel. Ghost Gene instructed David that it was indeed his destiny to make his metaphoric dream into a concrete reality.

And so began the donut system of movie reviews.

What better way to pay homage to the perfect food, the donut, then by making it the standard on which all things are based on. If something stands out as the best of its kind, then it must be the equivalent of eating five donuts. If something is horrible, it is like the absence of donuts... 0.0 donuts

If you still don't get it, just think of the donuts as stars.

The Donut reviews have since grown. Sometime later, Del Dunsmore had a dream of his own. In this dream he was yodeling insults across a great mountaintop. When he awoke, he was strangely compelled to read several of David's movie reviews and remake them according to his own unique vision. No longer would David's sharp tongue be the final word on movies. The people need a response. Del is that people.

Go with the donut